You do you...but....

 Over the past 6 months, families have seen countless activities, hobbies, organizations, events, and meetings wiped off their calendars. We've seen pleas for "Let the kids play" and "Let them Show" and "Dance On" and more. 

In the midst of it all, I yearn for the competition of interests to cease. As a society we can blurt a quippy "You Do You, Boo" while turning around to tout "Insert Activity is the only way to raise our kids" or "X sport creates the best/toughest/hardest working athlete" or "you never did (hard task)and it shows".  It stinks that anyone's interest has been limited this year. One is not more crucial than another. Perhaps everyone's desire to retrieve their lost activity has manifested to "my thing is the best/only/elite argument" (However, I note this is not new or pandemic driven, but maybe my frustration reaching its max is.)

Families are different! Kids are different! And that should be celebrated and supported, not pitted against each other. We should not be judging each other because of the choices a family makes...or doesn't make. Your kid wants to play travel ball and you are willing to let them. That's awesome. One of your kids joined a concert band 75 miles away that practices three days a week. Good for him/her! Your kid loves to be on stage. SUPER! You just spent $10,000 on a show animal. I hope you have a great show season! The library sees your kid more than their grandparents. Whooohooo!

BUT NONE OF THESE ARE CHOICES that we have a right to say are better than others. It's not our family. AND, goodness knows we've got to stop feeling guilty about what we are or are not doing "enough" or "too much" of. 

I'm tired of coaches telling kids they have to focus on a single sport, parents trash talking other activities as less valuable than others, and communities disregarding diversity of experiences.

This is all exacerbated by social media and the little snapshots that are shared. Maybe we share some things to try to prove our choices are justified and valued. But, honestly, whose business is that anyways. 

Personally, my boys are probably allowed to do too many things in very different spaces. (And, its been fun to see them explore some new things and just spend time together in the space that COVID has created in their lives). But that's how we've decided to build our life and support them to be good humans. And that's what matters most to me. At some point, choices will be made and they will be theirs to make, with guidance, guidelines and likely budget considered. But when these choices are made all I ask is that others recognize it was what was right for our family. 

So all this rambling to say, I've accepted that the activity/sport/hobby/event they choose can't be based on my desire for approval or acceptance from others. 

"You do you"  and don't apologize or question it. 

NOTE: COVID has also left me a significant amount of time for self-reflection. Next post - why does social media make us feeling lonely and excluded?

 

Debate vs. Hate (An editorial of sorts)

For some, social media is a place to share pictures of a meal out, report what funny quip your 4-year old said today or ask for travel tips. Throw in a few vacation and wedding/engagement/baby pictures and we're all having fun!

For others, social media, namely Facebook and Twitter, have become venues to express political opinions on topics including same sex marriage, welfare, GMOs and more!

Admittedly, I will sometimes click on a shared story from the Huffington Post or other media. However, recent escalations of some of these political and social discussions have me questioning if I even want to participate in social media. There comes a point where the line is crossed from DEBATE to HATE.

In full disclosure, I typically lean more to the right. With that in mind, the rest of the post may seem odd, but my point isn't meant to be about the issues, but rather the way we present our stance on those issues. I question if we would behave the same way if it weren't for the veil of social media. Would we stand up and make these statements in this way at work, church, or even dinner out with friends? I also enjoy a good discussion. I have been known to correct misconceptions. (Cough cough - What do Ag Communicators do? Talk to corn? - cough, cough!) But I think I've hit my limit.

When statements on controversial issues escalate to attacks is when I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up! (I had written personal attacks in that last statement but retracted it because these aren't personal. They are shrouded with the cover of social media. If they were personal, we would say them to someone's face and we often wouldn't even think of that. Instead we repost, like, comment, and here-here without thinking about who we might be hurting. ) We lose civility. We lose common sense as we are caught up in an issue.

Just this past week, a nice video of a news piece on two mom's gathering food for weekend meals and snacks for elementary school kids spiraled in to a political and social welfare debate in the comments section below the video on Facebook! It then shifted in to name calling and more hate. We seemed to have missed the point that these were good people doing a good thing!

My point - Social media users, be careful of where that line between debate and hate lies. Would you say it to  your Grandma if she disagreed with you? Do you really feel THAT strongly or is it easy to click and jump on the bandwagon? Think before you click! (or retweet, etc.)

Frugality

My spending has become loose the past few weeks and I need to reel it in!

First, my post-baby body required the purchase of some new digs. Yes, I'm still working on losing the extra fluff that carrying Levi gave me but I need to look decent in the mean time. I hated having to do it, but I'm certain my colleagues appreciate NOT seeing my underwear lines from too tight pants.

The hustle and bustle that comes with Halloween and fall birthdays at our house tend to cause me to pop in to stores to grab things and that too adds up. I enjoyed getting games ready for my oldest's classroom party and the older boys' home birthday party but I do realize that my $7.99 rice and $4.99 here and $2.99 there has added up. I also realize how much I spend on convenience. I didn't have time to make cakes so I sunk the money on that. Yes, it's just money and my kids had a nice, not extravagant birthday.

NOW, it's time to watch myself. With holiday spending on the horizon, I need to watch the nickel and diming. I have not problem with major purchase control but the multiple small purchases add up on me. 

Were generations before as concerned?

Over the past few days, I've read a plethora of facebook posts, emails and comments on news stories about people fearing what this world might be like for our children and grandchildren. And be it affirmed that I have asked myself this same question. I have turned off media coverage of Friday's events on more than one instance.

However, I've also recommited to ensuring that I try to help MY OWN KIDS develop a strong sense of values and faith, as well as a kindness to others. Frankly, that's what is in my control right now.

With all this in my head, I am wondering if there have been other points in American history when my own family, generations before me asked themselves these same questions. Did my grandmother shudder at the news of Pearl Harbor with a son that was just a little over a year old (my dad)? And what was it like to watch family, neighbors and friends leave for a WORLD WAR? Just think about those words! What was the sorrow and concern that my parents felt when they learned that our nation's leader had been gunned down in a motorcade in Texas? Were they all scared about the world they were bringing children into and leaving for them?

And what role is mass media and social media playing in all this? Is it feeding our fears?

I pray for those who lost their lives at the hands of evil on Friday. I pray for our society that we can heal and that in 50 years this will be a rememberd sorrowful day in history, not a normal occurence. I have faith that we as God's children can and will do better.

The 10 minute black hole

There is a mysterious part of my morning routine that baffles me. There is a black hole that sucks up minutes off the clock right after I say to my kids that we are ready to go! They are dressed, have shoes on and are often headed for the door or are already out it. (Although there may be a last ditch effort to pick out a movie or toy to take to the sitters). 
I think we are on schedule when I make the "let's go" statement but when I look down at the clock in the truck as we pull out the driveway, I discover that 10 minutes disappeared and we are no longer early or on schedule but BEHIND!! How the heck did that happen?
Hmmm....pouring the cup of coffee, realizing that my computer wasn't shut down from the night before, a meeriad of other little things or is it just a black hole?
I continue to make an effort to gain just a few more minutes each day so that perhaps we can be, at least, on time when Jeremiah starts school in a few weeks!

Counting...

I logged on to blogger with the intention of making a list of things that have already complicated my day. It's been one of those days where the small things are building. I realized that was only going to make me feel even more overwhelmed by all of it so instead I'm going to turn this post on it's head.

Things I am blessed with....

1. A caring husband who is trying very hard to be more supportive of our efforts to get out the door.
2. Healthy kiddos who have the ability to crawl in to our bed or sleep until they have to be roused.
3. A unique pet who gives us special companionship.
4. A job that allows for the flexibility of being a mom, a daughter, a wife and a member of my community!
5. Friends and family who have provided so much support in getting us moved to our new house.

Feeling better already!!!

Spring soccer!

It is time for soccer once again! Jeremiah is going after the ball and being agressive. However, he still has some work to do on defense.

Andrew wants to play so badly and actually gives his brother decent competition at home.