Productivity and exhaustion

The last two days at work have not been very productive. Monday was typical, accomplishing a few things and settling back in to the work week. However, yesterday I was simply not focused. I was doing anything and everything but what I should have been working on. I made a few phone calls and did a few work-related things but not much. A special friend of mine got engaged and I spent part of the day e-mailing her and surfing the web for wedding stuff, in particular a photo luminary centerpiece that I saw a few days ago on someone's bio on thenest.com. Of course, now that she is engaged I can't find the crazy thing.

However,to spite this lack of productivity at work, I was exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally, last night. I had dinner out with my brother-in-law and a few co-workers who are in town for meetings. My sister called when I got home to talk about our dear friend Jane and we both spent about 30 minutes in tears. Then, I went to class online for about an hour. (So ready for this to be OVER!) After all that I knew I should work out but I didn't have the energy. It took all I had left to iron a dress for work today and get myself ready for bed. I was crashed out when my husband got home from his class. The good news is that I woke up somewhat rested for the first time all week so I said a little prayer to say thank you for my body signaling that I really needed some rest for me and for Baby Todd.

Hopefully, I can be a bit more productive today, feeling rested and ready to go again.

A beautiful life

A dear friend of mine left her earthly home this week to begin her eternal life in God's kingdom above. She has battled cancer for over five years with a faith and strength that I have never seen in another human being. She truly believed in the power of prayer, even enlisting a group that she communicated with via e-mail and deemed her prayer warriors. She was an amazing fighter and an incredible woman. Even a picture taken of her on Sunday, just a couple days before her passing, with her new granddaughter shows her smiling with kind eyes. That picture exemplified who she was - a bright spirit even as she faced death.

I have many special memories with Jane. I spent nearly every morning for one summer learning to ride horses at her farm. After our rides, I would help her feed the many hounds kept on the farm and clean kennels. As only she could, she made that enjoyable for us both. For many years, we would giggle about the day I proudly saddled the horse I was going to ride, all by myself, only to discover upon her inspection that I put the saddle on perfectly.....backwards. I stayed with her and her husband in their suburban home for a week once. That was my first experience eating shark and I have been meaning to do it again for a long time.

The memories could continue to flow from my fingertips but I will keep them for sharing during a memorial celebration and gathering to honor Jane's life next weekend. However, there will be one that I will hold near and dear to my heart for a very long time. When I got married three years ago Jane was undergoing treatments and had a vulnerable immune system. The doctors were recommending very little interaction with other people for fear of her catching a bug. When she walked in to the church on that June day my heart soared (and of course the tears flowed). I can't express in words how thankful I was to share that celebration with her.

There are several people who have passed that I try to remember as examples for living my life. Jane will surely be one of these people. She enjoyed life's small moments, served others, shared her good fortune and loved her lord. She was a blessed woman and lived a beautiful life. I'll miss her.

Escaping

It has taken me all week to make time to write about it, but last weekend was wonderful! I viewed it as even more pleasurable as I returned to work on Monday and realized that I had really, truly relaxed - to the point that I didn't even remember that I packed some documents to edit while I was away for the weekend. I had time on Monday to get to them, so it obviously wasn't that critical to get to it over the weekend anyways.

We drove to southeastern Ohio on Friday to meet two other couples for a weekend of fun, laughter, rest and relaxation at a cabin. (Don't get the wrong idea, this cabin was not rustic. It had air, a full kitchen and a six person hot tub.) We shared conversation, hiked in some state parks, dipped in the hot tub and ate way too much. John and I did get some studying in but it felt so different than when we are normally shoving reading for class in to our weekend.

It was a fabulous escape and a reminder that we need to do that more often. Escaping doesn't have to be physically going somewhere, but simply leaving behind everyday worries and tasks if only for a bit. I escaped again last night for about an hour, as I enjoyed a facial and partial massage. MMMMM. I need to blog sometime about my recent thoughts on pampering oneself too. Tonight I escaped, if only for a few minutes, while I looked out the back window at the beatiful summer evening and popped raspberries in my mouth.

Acting my age

Being nine years younger than my next oldest sister, people have mistaken my age for quite some time. Perhaps I spent more time with older people and adults and therefore people thought I acted older or maybe it just made more sense to them that I would be closer in age to her. That all seemed like reasonable explanations when I was a teenager, when it was a compliment for people to think I was older. I'm not certain I still feel the same way about it.

Over lunch today, one of my co-workers commented that my parents were young, when I told her that they were 61 and 66. Granted that's not ancient but people are usually surprised that my parents are in their 60s, when I am in my 20s. I looked at her a little strange and then she asked bewildered, "How old are you?" She was astonished that I was "only 26."

This has led me to question if I act my age. Does my social life resemble that of a middle-aged woman, rather than someone who is expected to be out partying? Or do I just interact with people who are older than me? Or goodness, could I LOOK older? EEK! Maybe it's my husband. Afterall, his family tells him that he is the youngest old man they know.

Regardless, I'm OK with it. I suppose it will bother me when I'm 40 and someone thinks I'm 55 but for now, I'll celebrate. I'll keep telling myself that I interact well with people of all ages, including those older than me and that I haven't missed some wild and crazy time that I'm supposed to be having now. I'm enjoying my social life, my family, and my friends and that's what is important.