First time away

For the past two days, I have been in Chicago on business. This is the first time I've been away from Jeremiah over night. People have been asking how I'm doing and I honestly have to say that I've been GREAT!

I think this was a wonderful way to ease in to being away, and he is a good age for being away. I didn't have to leave a little tiny baby and I'm just a car ride away - not a flight away. Additionally, I'm only on business for two nights and I know he is still in the comfort of our home with his dad.

Last night I enjoyed a dinner out, follow by a walk down state street on a beautiful summer night. Then, I took a nice warm shower and snuggled in to bed. This morning I woke up around 6:oo and gleefully rolled back over to sleep for nearly 2 more hours. Jeremiah never sleeps until 8 a.m. I exercised this morning and then headed for a relaxing brunch. Then, I was flung in to work. All in all, it has been nice to fell like I'm off mommy-duty for a few days... but I'm ready to go home to my little man, and my big man too.

Speaking of the big man, I cherish his support and appreciate him caring for Jeremiah this weekend. I also appreciate uncle Matt for helping out. J told me today that he has decided that he wouldn't want to be a single parent. It made me feel good that he acknowledges that there is plenty that we do together that he wouldn't want to have to do.

An old bad habit

I have an old bad habit that is once again showing it's ugly face. My husband, college roomates, and probably some high school friends will tell you that I had a disgusting habit of worrying that I had done and said things that made people mad at me (or worse to make them not like me) when really there may not be anything wrong at all. Sometimes me worrying about this actually created a situation that was worse than the one I "created" in my head. I was often told that I would "grow" or "age" out of this and not really give a bunk what people thought. The habit had seemed to diminish . Perhaps I did grow out of it. I wasn't quite so self-conscience...that is until recently.


Some recent interactions with friends have me worried all over again! I'm questioning if my actions or words may have upset some people. I'm tempted to offer up some apologies but I'm not even sure what I would be apologizing for. They may not even be upset with/at me but the fear in my mind that they may be has me nervous to the point of near-nausea.


Part of me says just get over it! Another part is concerned that I may have injured a relationship permanently. Part of me cares about that and another part feels like they may have wounded me first and not even realized that I was trying to fire back!


Should I just let this blow over, get over it and try to put this nasty habit back in the box? Will I only make it worse by saying something? Or should I extend an olive branch?

Searching for balance

Yeah, yeah. It's been nearly a month since I blogged. I could list excuses but I'm here writing know so at least I've managed to log on and write a new message and I don't want it to be about why I haven't made time to write a message.

Instead, I'm noting that I'm attempting a great deal of "balancing" these days and I thought this was blog worthy - given this is my therapy zone.

I finished actual classes back in June but had to turn in my final project on July 12. This meant spending some time on vacation doing homework. The first weekend after turning in my project, I started to catch up on various house projects. I was looking forward to a second day of projects when someone else had other plans. Jeremiah was a bit under the weather so we spent the day snuggling him and doing little else. I was finding myself looking for a balance of the time needed to spend with him but still do a few things before Monday morning rolled around again. The good Lord helped me make decisions, I guess.

In addition to balancing time, I've recently found myself trying to balance my hormones and emotions. I've been taking things very personally lately and wearing my heart on my sleeve. I suppose you could say I'm a bit sensitive these days. I'm hoping this is another temporary adjustment of my 8-month postpartum body. In the mean time, hopefully, everyone can bear with me.

There's more that could go under this title:
- work and home
- time with my family and the in-laws
- making myself relax and do "nothing" versus getting so many tasks taken care of.

I'm getting lazy as I write this so I'm going to leave it at that. Time to put the computer away and crawl under the covers.