What if...

I try not to live thinking about the what ifs from the past or the future. However, recently I've had a big one on my mind. What if my husband's dream of being in the military would have been granted?

It was nearly 11 years ago sitting in a car in the high school parking lot that John looked at me and asked me if it was OK if he went to West Point. We had been dating less than a year and I couldn't even fathom telling him no. This was a long term goal of his and we were 16 and 17 years old. For the months to follow, people cautioned me that he may not be the same person when he came back and it would be hard to hold our relationship together. Long story short, he didn't go to West Point, not because of me, but for health reasons, and our life went on.

With a dear friend of mine preparing for her husband to deploy for another trip to the Middle East, I've been wondering what if I were a military wife. I honestly am not sure I could do it. Would our relationship have survived him going to West Point? Would we have a beautiful little boy? Would I have stepped up to the challenge and held our family together at home?

That's the thing with what ifs, you never really know. There's only one guy who knows and he's got life mapped for us. It's just sometimes hard to let go and allow him to handle things. And with that, my heads spinning on a thousand other "what ifs".

Time to go do something mindless.

Those scary forwards

I kept getting small messages today that I was not supposed to be productive this afternoon. Soon after returning from lunch, I thought I heard rain but it was perfectly sunny outside. Seconds later there was water dripping, no running from my office ceiling. There is a kitchen directly above me and a sink was leaking prolifically. About a half hour after that, the network went down and I couldn't get to my files. One of my co-workers just decided to leave because she couldn't work on any of her projects.

It's a good thing this happened this week because my hormones and general feelings were reeling last week and an afternoon like that would have sent me over the edge. After a relaxing weekend and a long talk with my hubby, I'm feeling much better

I had a random incident occur yesterday and this is actually the content that this entry was named for. Have you received one of those messages that warns about people in parking lots, or bathroom corners, etc? You know the ones I'm talking about. I had an incident yesterday that immediately took my mind to one of those messages. I was non-chalantly walking in to Hobby Lobby, when I heard a woman yell across the parking, "young lady, can I get a push in?" There was a woman getting out of her car. She had both legs wrapped up and one had a cast on it. She was struggling to get in to a wheel chair from her car. I walked towards her and started to worry this is one of those traps you read about in those e-mail messages. Then, I realized it was complete daylight and people were all around, coming in and out of the store. I walked on over and started pushing her towards the store. The woman told me some story about tripping over her cat and how the bearings in the chair she had are better than the first chair she got. I felt kind of silly thinking that she could have been part of some scheme to trap me. However, I'm still wondering what a woman with two broken/injured legs is doing at Hobby Lobby by herself.

Monday....

so much to do, so little motivation to do it. My head is a million other places but at work today.

Hey, I just realized blogger added a video feature. woohooo.

A work vacation

After a weekend of many projects, including washing windows, trimming hedges, mopping the basement, and the regular laundry, etc., I'm a bit wiped out. I did, however, decide yesterday to not attempt to fall clean our bedroom. I didn't want to come back to work today completely regretting not also taking it easy a bit this weekend. We got in some walks, some snuggles, playing outside, eating out and going to a picnic.

Being that it's Tuesday, feeling like Monday, I know this week will go fast BUT I remembered what one of the things I wanted to blog about was. I want a work vacation. How shallow am I to possibly wish for a break from some of the other things in my life to "catch up' at work, if that is possible? In the middle of last week, I was contemplating how I might not be so stressed if I could just spend 2-3 days and evenings plugging away at work. This would also require no additional meetings at work, just days of uninterrupted checking things off my list. I know I would hate it while it was happening but it's the only thing I could come up with last week when I was out of the office and feeling like I was just getting farther and farther behind.

I obviously won't be taking my "working vacation" anytime soon but I'm at least back in the office for a while and I've spent all morning making check marks. Yeah!

However, I did inform J last night that when he is done with football concessions, I think I may need some me time. My boys may get some bonding time while I spend some time making sure I don't implode. I'm only good for them if I manage to also take care of myself mentally and physically - something to remember when I try to run myself ragged.