Christmas in July

I had a bizarre urge to listen to Christmas music today. Admittedly, I do usually start listening to holiday tunes soon after Halloween, but I think it's a little early. Although if it wasn't thought of as strange, I may listen year round. I love the feeling that the tunes bring, no matter if they are classics or trendy new tunes. Do you like Christmas music? Do you also search for that holiday tunes 24/7 station the day after Thanksgiving?

In other news, I'm doing my civic duty this week. I reported for jury duty this morning. However, I'm already not needed, at least for tomorrow. So, I'll be reporting instead to my make-shift office. Maybe I'll be called back to the courthouse on Wednesday.

More about others' opinions

So after reading some replies to one of my posts below, I've realized something. Much of the angst and guilt that I have about trying to be a good mom are not about me or how Jeremiah will turn out. It's about me worrying about what other people will think and I'm not even going to get in to it.

However, it makes me feel better realizing why I'm feeling the way I do. Thanks to K and C for reminding me of my blessings and hopefully I can discard some of the thoughts about what others might think about my parenting skills.

As I've told myself in the past, in 10, 15 or 50 years what will truly matter is that my children will know that I loved them and their father very much.

Have a good weekend!

Mommy guilt reaches a peak

When Jeremiah made his trip to the ER back in December, I had so many people tell me it was only the beginning of being a mom to a very active boy! Wow! They were right, but I didn't think I would have a repeat appearance at the ER within less than a year.

Just as I was logging on to class last night, Jeremiah pulled/knocked/we don't really know exactly what happened our Chief statue over on himself cutting his head and giving himself some pretty good goose eggs. I messaged my instructor to explain the situation and off we went to the ER at Carle. Three hours later we were back home with a perfectly content 20-month old, who has now been "glued". His cut is up in his hairline so hopefully you won't see it as much as the last one.

Talk about Mommy guilt. In the last week, I've taken him to a speech evaluation because I'm worried we aren't doing what we need to help him learn to talk, I've learned that we are not nourishing him correctly (apparently he's low on iron), and I can't manage to protect him from the simple things that are in our house. Argh!

It was a comfort to give him a bath this morning and see him being his normal self, juwt with a new battle scar.

My little snowglobe

I feel like I've been living in the middle of one of those little snowglobes, looking out and seeing the outside world, but not engaging in it very well. I'm in the middle of it all and I'm functioning amongst it, but I'm in my own little world. Then, occassionally the globe gets shook and we try to hold on for dear life - losing more vision to our surroundings and those outside the globe.

This analogy came to me this morning when I was reflecting on my feelings of disconnection with some of the people in my life. Even when I'm with them I feel like I'm not doing a very good job of interacting with them - like I'm there but I'm inside my own little globe. Maybe it's because I'm chasing a 2-year-old when we're together (perhaps it's time for some big people gatherings), but I'm also concerned that I'm so wrapped up in my own chaotic adventures that I've neglected to express my genuine care and interest in the happenings in their lives.

I recently attended a family reunion and a week later I realized that I had very few quality conversations with people I see very rarely. In another instance, I blurted out someone else's good news to someone else - not even realizing what I had done! I found myself having random thoughts and sharing them in the middle of my and others' conversations. It's time for me to re-engage, discontinue the use of the "I've been out of town" excuse, spend some quality time with those who are important to me, communicate effectively (which includes the listening skills I've written about here previously), and sift away the stuff that doesn't matter.

HELLO! Tap, tap on the glass. Can I come out before I get all shook up again?

Laughs with my dad

My boys are still hunkered down in bed so it's time to steal a few minutes to post. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. I'm so happy to be home with no extensive homework for a few weeks. I know I don't have it as rough as some but I cherish each minute I can get with my guys and I really missed them while I was traveling. We're still trying to find a weekend to get away together - maybe after Christmas. Ha! We did enjoy an evening out on Thursday. We went for dinner for John's birthday and then to the family fun/batting cages. Jeremiah rode a train thing and loved watching John in the batting cages. Simple, fun, family time. I'm certain these will be the things he loves some day.

Anyways, I know you don't want a long ramble about my past couple of weeks so I'll just share bits and pieces in posts as I remember things. Here's a quick story that we can laugh about now.

While in Iowa, my dad and I moved the truck to unload a bale of shavings closer to where my niece needed it for the Jr. National talent show. As I hopped out of the truck, I drop my keys...right in to a sewer drain. I heard them hit bottom but had no contemplation of how deep bottom might be. I also released a nice expletive. My dad came around the truck to find me spread on the street, peering in to the drain. They weren't very far down but we couldn't reach them with our bare hands. We contemplated different things that we could hook them with and then my dad saw the manhole right next to the drain. With 2 screwdrivers he managed to take the cover off and I climbed inside the drain and retrieved the keys. It wasn't until I stood up with keys in hand, my body still waste deep in the hole, that we thought to look around to see who might have seen this incident. That's also when we looked at each other and busted out laughing (it can be funny after you have the keys in hand). We must have looked quite strange - older man down on all fours with a manhole uncovered with a grown woman in the drain hole! We have decided that this little event is definitely one of our more unique incidents and we've had quite a few together over the years. It's funny how they usually tie back to traveling with the cows! OK, maybe you had to be there, but it was funny!