The unthinkable

The last week has been emotionally draining, to say the least. Friends and family back home dealt with record flash flooding. We received regular updates, but it wasn't until I saw pictures online with personal locations on them that I really broke down and "got it". I was reduced to tears as I scrolled through the pictures. That's not a stretch for me but they were hard to see.

On Wednesday, we learned of a grain bin entrapment back home. I followed the news throughout the day, and my phone rang around 8:15 p.m. It was one of my sisters crying so bad I couldn't understand her. I instantly knew she knew one of the victims. I told her that I needed her to try to tell me and when she did I too broke down. The 14-year-old who was trapped and killed in the bin was our family vet's son. This in itself is sad enough, but my reaction was more based on what this man has already faced in his life. 30 years ago his first wife and infant son were killed in a car accident when they were hit by a drunk driver. G.W. finally rebuilt his life, married again, had 2 boys, continued to raise his daughter from his first marriage, and continued to be an outstanding veterinarian and friend to our family. My reaction was simply, "That's not fair!"

These events have led me to do quite a bit of thinking about my boys, the time I spend with them, who I want them to be, the relationship I want the two of them to have, and what I might do in such a situation. Could I keep it together, could I move on? I've given more hugs this week, sat and stared a little more at sleeping kids, and reminded myself that each moment is precious!

My head is going to be reeling on this event for a while, and maybe, just maybe I can see that as a "reason" for one man to have to endure so much. It's a reminder to the rest of us to cherish what we have, because it could be taken away in an instant.

Missing grandma

My grandmother passed away a year and a half ago, but she has been on my mind alot lately. I've had several days lately when I felt like a cup of coffee, an apricot cookie and a visit with Grandma would be perfect therapy. Those visits seemed to make time stand still. Other things could wait.
While driving home from a day in CU, I looked up to see the sun "drawing water" and it made me think of Grandma again. I will need to teach my kids all of these signs of nature in the years to come.
And a trip to the library where I interacted with a young man with Down's syndrome seemed to be yet another signal this week that I was getting a message from Grandma.

With the numerous other major events of the past year, I know I didn't grieve properly for my grandmother. I know I am still getting through that process. However, I don't know that I can ever truly put closure on her life. I want to continue to remember her and use her passing as a reminder to spend time having that cup of coffee or taking in other special moments before there comes a day when we can't.