New feelings
When I had Jeremiah, I knew my world had changed. I can't even begin to name the ways in which our lives are better and, frankly, just different.
Yesterday, I had yet another experience that made me realize how different things are as a mommy. He's been fighting a cough and congestion so we have been giving him albuterol treatments for about 5 days. However, it didn't seem like he was improving so I called the pediatrician and they wanted to see him, which was fine with me. I predicted we would go there, they would listen to his chest and send us home with an antibiotic. I wasn't prepared for her to tell me that she wanted a chest x-ray. I went in to panic mode and before he was squished into the x-ray brace, I was developing the logistics of having my mom come, calling John to bring a bag, etc. becaue I was mentally convincing myself that he was going to be sent to the hospital. I was terrified for him, and for us. That's another feeling that was like nothing I've ever felt before. (Although I have to say it rivaled putting John in an ambulance five years ago.) All I wanted to do was hold him close and make it better, when I knew that I couldn't.
The good news - he's not in the hospital but I made a very sizable contribution to the pharmaceutical industry yesterday. The bags of medicine I carried to the car made me look like I had grocery shopped at the pharmacy. I was exhausted emotionally so I took a little more time before returning to my computer yesterday. We are granted sick time for a reason.
We're so lucky that he is agreeable to the nebulizer because now he's on two different treatments. Additionally, he's on steroids for a couple days and I'm glad that it's not any longer than that. I don't trust them. Finally, he gleefully sucks down his orange flavored amoxicillin. I think he actually wanted more of that this morning.
Hopefully we can get him feeling better soon. Although you wouldn't really know that he's sick based on his mood, etc. At our next regular check-up (15 months) our doctor wants to discuss the possibility that he might be asthmatic. Curses to those Todd genes...and maybe some of mine too.
Yesterday, I had yet another experience that made me realize how different things are as a mommy. He's been fighting a cough and congestion so we have been giving him albuterol treatments for about 5 days. However, it didn't seem like he was improving so I called the pediatrician and they wanted to see him, which was fine with me. I predicted we would go there, they would listen to his chest and send us home with an antibiotic. I wasn't prepared for her to tell me that she wanted a chest x-ray. I went in to panic mode and before he was squished into the x-ray brace, I was developing the logistics of having my mom come, calling John to bring a bag, etc. becaue I was mentally convincing myself that he was going to be sent to the hospital. I was terrified for him, and for us. That's another feeling that was like nothing I've ever felt before. (Although I have to say it rivaled putting John in an ambulance five years ago.) All I wanted to do was hold him close and make it better, when I knew that I couldn't.
The good news - he's not in the hospital but I made a very sizable contribution to the pharmaceutical industry yesterday. The bags of medicine I carried to the car made me look like I had grocery shopped at the pharmacy. I was exhausted emotionally so I took a little more time before returning to my computer yesterday. We are granted sick time for a reason.
We're so lucky that he is agreeable to the nebulizer because now he's on two different treatments. Additionally, he's on steroids for a couple days and I'm glad that it's not any longer than that. I don't trust them. Finally, he gleefully sucks down his orange flavored amoxicillin. I think he actually wanted more of that this morning.
Hopefully we can get him feeling better soon. Although you wouldn't really know that he's sick based on his mood, etc. At our next regular check-up (15 months) our doctor wants to discuss the possibility that he might be asthmatic. Curses to those Todd genes...and maybe some of mine too.
posted by MJ at
8:54 AM
3 Comments:
Hey, Sweetie! Thinking of you today. I really liked your post, altho I feel bad that J is sick! While Em hasn't had any serious coughs yet, she has had a few colds. It's scary and you feel so helpless. Be thankful your Dr. is being proactive with his chest congestion and keeping him out of the ER. Let's hope he continues to feel better so he is ready to enjoy Christmas!
The other night I started to cry as I watched Em splash in the tub. It seems that I have been so busy lately, and suddenly it hit me (like a frying pan in the head) that my baby is growing up so fast. She was babbling away, making sounds that she could not make just weeks or days before.
My own little flesh and blood...my own little miracle...and she relies on me for everything. What a powerful feeling. I could totally understand your feelings as you wanted to snuggle little J when he was preparing for his x-ray. Those maternal impulses are STRONG!
You're an amazing woman, MJ. You do a great job of juggling it all -- work, family, friends, faith, etc. (and not necessarily in that order). It's so great that you can acknowledge your feelings.
Let's hope for no asthma...but I have it, too, and it's not the end of the world! Could be sooooo much worse!
Sending my love to you and your family. xo, c
By
badger girl, At
10:47 AM
I LOVE AMOXICYLLIN (sp)! When Kirk and I were little I would try to take his medicine when he was sick. And as I got older I would beg the doctor to keep giving me the liquid stuff instead of the horse pills. Mine was bubble gum flavored, but I'm sure the orange is just as great!
You are an amazing mom! It's awesome to see the relationship you have with your little guy and what an awesome kid he is. I look forward to every opportunity to spend time with your family and the joy that Jeremiah has added to our lives as well!
By
Anonymous, At
3:33 PM
You better be careful giving your kids steroids or his name might end up on the bad list when he becomes a famous Cardinal player!
Trever
By
Anonymous, At
6:11 PM
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home