Perhaps Halloween first?

This morning I saw a vehicle with a Christmas wreath attached to its front grill. I think this is a bit premature. Yes, I have started my Christmas shopping because I found things and I like deals. I also want to be a little ahead when I have a baby. Yes, many of the retailers have Christmas merchandise out. Farm and Fleet opens Toyland this Saturday. They'll be playing Deck the Halls by next week. However, I am not stringing up the lights or dragging out my tree yet.

As individuals, can't we have Halloween first? Then, if people want to turn to Christmas celebrations, go right ahead. Maybe if we remembered what Christmas is really about we would actually value the appropriate time to turn to Christmas preparations.

Besides, that person's wreath is going to be dried and crusty by Christmas. Where did they get that anyways?

Therapy for my soul

This weekend was therapy for my soul. I apologize for worrying anyone who read my blog on Friday but that was all feelings that I needed to get out and I am happy to say that I am feeling much better. I still don't know what to blame it on but I have my various theories. Goodness knows I don't like feeling like things are uncontrollable. In fact, it drives me crazy!

With a bit of retail therapy, some lovey time with my hubby, cleaning and lazy time, I relaxed and felt like I got a grip on some things. Friday night I bought the much anticipated crib mattress and treated myself to a new purse (Hey, you have to buy something when most of the clothes you are wearing resemble pup tents.) Saturday allowed me the chance to make the baby's bed and do some cleaning that was definitely needed. Then, J and I went on a date. We had dinner and rented a movie that we actually both stayed awake to watch. Who knows when we might be able to do this again so it was very nice. I don't know if he knows that I noticed, but J even opened my car door after dinner. Little things can do wonders for the heart! I completed the therapy recipe with some more cleaning and then parking it in the Lazy Boy last night to watch some of my favorite Sunday night TV.

I can't say I wanted to go back to work today, however. So I worked from home for a few hours, which was even better. Now another Friday is only 4 days away! I hope it comes quickly!

What is wrong?

Something is WRONG with me! Maybe I'm getting seasonal depression or maybe I'm just tired or maybe my hormones are on some runaway train to the moon! Whatever it is I'm not enjoying it but I don't know how to kick it. I would love to explain why I'm feeling the way I do so I could fix it.

I've been short with people, even completely avoiding some on the sidewalk or in the halls at work. Honestly, if I didn't have meetings today, it is likely that I would have done a U-turn on my way to work and just turned around to go home for the day. Little things, like Target selling out of the crib mattress that I was planning to buy and saw there just 2 days ago, are sending me deeper in to disappointment. I don't like feeling unprepared and not having a crib mattress or being able to "finish" packing for the hospital has me feeling inadequate in my preparation skills as a mother. I'm getting worked up over things that I was fine with and agreed to just a few weeks ago. (specifics here would get me in trouble!) I've been feeling guilty all week about what I have been eating - ranging from a cookie on more than one occasion to McDonald's last night. I didn't even enjoy eating it because I knew how bad it was!

OK, so as I write this I'm starting to perhaps understand what (or how many different things) is making me feel this way but I still don't think that explains why I feel all of this now. I want to be happy in the last few weeks before our baby comes. I want to be excited about it being Friday and finally getting to accomplish some tasks at home, as well as take it easy. I'm going to do my best to try to knock this over the weekend. I just hope it doesn't get worse.

I'm not writing for sympathy. I'm just writing to try to get all this out, hoping that is the first step in ridding myself of these feelings. I remind myself why I started this blog and it was cheaper than therapy. Time's up. Session's over. I need to get to work.

Oktoberfest!

Although it is not caused by my strong German heritage, I am celebrating October. Perhaps I should state it more clearly as I am celebrating it no longer being September! That month was relentless with responsibilities and events at work and I'm so pleased to see it behind me. Granted, now I'm playing catch up with all the things that were left in the dust as I prepared for these special events but that is helping me get a feeling of buttoning up (as much as I can) around the office.

I'm also enjoying watching the combines roll across these wide expansive flat lands, clearing the thousands of acres of crops in the area. Each and every year it evokes so much emotion deep in my soul and this year is no exception. I am homesick for fall harvest! Leaves are starting to fall and I've already consumed some caramel apples and apple donuts. MMM...October! The only thing missing is a trip to a grape stomp to truly honor the month of October. Perhaps my friends and I can reestablish this tradition or a form of it in the future.

Finally, October brings our final countdown to parenthood. Ready or not, here we go!

That's my explanation for being so bad at blogging during the month of September. I hope I'm still celebrating October when the month comes to an end.