Sans outline

So much has been happening that I actually made an outline (or at least made notes) of what I wanted to blog about last week. I never actually wrote the entry, however. So here goes a brain dump without really thinking through it first.

Since my last entry, I've been tightly strapped in to an emotional roller coaster ride. We had a great getaway with friends in Michigan's Harbor Country. It was an escape from reality that I certainly needed. After that I was revived and determined that it was time to quit anticipating my fears about the move and be ready to just face them in a few short weeks. My fears are certainly still real but I can't start to overcome them until I'm actually dealing with them.

In the mean time, there are certainly some tears being shed. This is the little man's last week of daycare at his providers because she is on vacation next week. She has been an amazing part of his life and development and I'm going to miss seeing his daily interactions with her. There is a special bond there that comforts me as I venture off to spend my day away from him. She has planned some special activities for them this week and shared with me that she is making him a scrapbook of his time with her. I'm looking forward to bringing him back to visit and she wants to come see us when the new baby arrives.

We had a good weekend this weekend too, but it was also hard to know that it was our last "normal" weekend here. We enjoyed an early birthday celebration for JT at a local bowling alley, which included Jeremiah bowling for the first time. He had a blast. It was wonderful to spend time with some great friends too!

I realize that I have made this home and I'm leaving home all over again. I sucked at it 11 years ago and I'm not much better now!

On a different note, I'm continuing to be amazed by Jeremiah's development. In the past week, he has learned to operate the computer mouse, leading to him playing games on PBS kids by himself. He's pretty skilled at Cookie Monsters Letter of the Day game! On Sunday, he informed me that dentist started with "d". OK. He's right, but did he just figure that out or get it somewhere?

I'm hoping to soon have more time to relish the miracle that's happening in my own body. With everything else going on, I worry that the weeks are flying by and I'm forgetting to enjoy all the amazing aspects of my pregnancy. That's really disappointing for me, because, for the most part, I enjoy being pregnant.

It's time to pack a few more boxes, and try to get to bed early. I doubt that will happen but it's a nice thought.

Equation for problems

Pregnancy hormones + being tired + husband in another state + house still for sale + a 2 1/2 year old = me in a CRAZY mood!

I can tell that I'm not myself at all right now. Bizarre things are setting me off and I have very little patience with Jeremiah, which breaks my heart. I've made withdrawals from emotional bank accounts that I'm pretty sure will take quite a while to build back up.

I did get some great therapy tonight playing ball with Jeremiah in the yard. Then, he came in and played independently in his room while I did a few things before dinner. I know that more of an answer would come with trying to lean on others more but I honestly don't know how to do that right now.

Shout out for suggestions tonight goes to any recommendations of good online checklists for moving! Bring them on! I'm certain that I'm going to forget something.

Never mind

I logged on to write about my weekend, but I'm really too tired to even go there. So here are a few snipits.

- Spent time on the farm
- Butchered chickens...yep, that's right. It was a first for John but now he knows how to properly cut up a whole chicken.
- Celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary.
- Hit bottom.
- Had a long talk with my husband and discovered that the answer was where it always is if we work hard enough.

TIRED! Going to bed.

Out of place

I'm currently in Anaheim, California, home of the famous mouse. I'm here for a few days on business. However, there have been numerous aspects of my trip that have made me feel a bit out of place.

When I picked up my rental car, they gave me a nice little Nissan Altima, a car I love but anticipate that I will never own. The part that made me feel a bit "hickish" was when I was AMAZED that this car started with the push of a button, no key required. HOLY COW!!

As my little belly continues to expand with the growth of our little babykins, I certainly look out of place with the many beautiful California babes on the streets.

Tonight I ventured out to Downtown Disney and felt out of place without my family in tow. I've missed both of my Js on this trip but I think tonight made it even worse. I'll be ready to snuggle my little guy and my big one too. Admittedly, I needed a break from Jeremiah to feel like a good mom but I really felt like he belonged with me tonight as I perused Disney paraphernalia for him.

Only two more nights here, then it's off to the farm for a few days. I'm certain to feel just where I need to be there!

Ups and Downs

Some recent events can be summarized by ups and downs.

Up - We made a decision to put a contingency offer on a house.
Down - When John called our realtor to take another look, it had been sold. Note - the selling agent was supposed to be informing our realtor if anything was happening. Oops!

Down - We haven't seen much recent movement regarding our house.
Up - I opened my big mouth at a recent party and may have created a potential buyer of our house.

Up - I'm going to California this weekend!
Down - It's for business and because of budget cuts at work there won't be many coworkers to even interact with.
Up - I'm looking forward to a break from some personal demands.

Up - Jeremiah is back to sleeping through the night.
Down - He's still having some issues getting to bed (up 2-5 times).

I know when I contemplated this posting there were more thoughts than this but I can't recall of them now so that's what you get.